Counseling for Trauma and Attachment Wounding

Trauma is an emotional, physical and mental response to adverse life events. This includes physical, mental, sexual, or emotional abuse; neglect; abandonment; rape; imprisonment; witnessing a death or harm to another; wars; hate crimes and persecution; and natural disasters.

Trauma can be acute, meaning a single incident; chronic, meaning one type of trauma ongoing for an extended period of time; or complex, meaning multiple types of trauma over an extended period of time. Complex trauma usually occurs during childhood and often has severe impacts into adulthood. It is important to remember that trauma is subjective. If we believe that our life is being threatened or we are going to be harmed, we may experience trauma, regardless of the reality.

Certain types of therapy can help to heal from past traumas. Methods like EMDR and IFS allow us to work with stuck parts in order to release traumas stored in our physical, emotional, and spiritual bodies.

Ideally in childhood our caregivers are able to meet our physical and emotional needs. When our emotional needs (safety, connection, love, attunement) are not met, we develop attachment wounds. Because we are children, we cannot understand our caregivers' struggles and we naturally blame ourselves for this. We may feel unsafe in the world, not good enough, like there's something wrong with us, incapable, etc. We may have to focus all of our efforts on getting our emotional needs met by pleasing, changing who we are, hiding our emotions, or becoming smaller in order to hide or larger in order to be seen. If we do all of this, and still our needs aren't met, we are likely to shut down/dissociate, run away, or fight. These are normal responses to dysfunctional environments. However, as adults who no longer live in these environments, we have the opportunity to heal these wounds.